This Week In Musings

December 31, 1999

"Your french fries are in the break room, Lenny"

 

Here you go, kids. This is the last This Week In Musings for 1999, and, who knows, maybe the last ever. So I say, take out your big blue cigars and celebrate!

"I'm a gonna have a Christmas." The Nice Geoff

"Why havn't I seen any commercials for this "Talking" Pikachu doll? And why is Pokemon and Beanie Babies so popular? Is it because they're Collectible? Collectible shit is so easy to market, since people think "collectible" means it's gonna be worth something someday.

You wanna know what's collectible? I'll tell you, bitch. Rocks, damn you! Rocks! Go and collect your fucking rocks, you whore!!!" Mean Geoff

"Eck!" Rebecca Mundshenck

"When did I become a verb?

Kev-boy(kéîv-bøy): To be repetitively annoying

ex: "don't kev-boy so much" "why do you kev-boy all the time? Leave me alone!"

definition two: (n.) a person who kev-boys\

ex: Jees, you're such a kev-bou." kev-boy replies to Chris Lough

"What gives you the right to tell everyone else on this board that we don't know what it feels like to have our hearts broken? Man, I was very sympathetic to you when this happened. I know this sucks for you, but to try and turn it into a 'me against the world' type thing is one step shy of becoming the new lead singer for the Smiths....Kelly was posting that she liked a goddamn movie, man!!! I could understand if she posted to the board saying "I fucked my new boyfriend last night and he was way better than Eric!" But she didn't!" Mike Remiker to Eric

"Man, at least you've had the pleasure of being in love. Look at all the sorry fuckers on the board who haven't even gotten laid yet. My apologies to the rest of the board. You guys aren't really sorry fuckers." Mike Remiker to Eric

"Oh my god! You're so crazy. Is that why she dumped you? I would dump you for being an obsessive weirdo. on the other hand, Nobody hates you. You just suck balls, and people are getting tired of you bitching about little shit things on the "THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS" message board. Now, I know I bitch about my Jewel Osco job, but at least i'm not hurting anyone. And if the dumb bitch Kelly dumped you, who cares? Not I! Yeah, she meaned alot to you, but do you think she's going to come back to you after you attack her for giving her opinion of a movie, or anything else she posts? Of course she's not. you're never gonna get chicks with you're shit fuck attitude.

You're a pathetic breed of human. You think the world and evreyone owes you, and ou think evreyone should have to feel your pain. People shouldn't have to feel you're god damn pain. You fucking faggot!" Mean Geoff to Eric

"I miss Jimmy. I wish he was still around. He made what could be my favorite post of all time.

'I sleep in a drawer. :( '" Mike Remiker

"Eat a bowl of dicks, Kev-Boy." Mike Remiker

"A bowl of dicks?????" Flamer

"He said that to me today, too." John Nicholas

"Hey, we used to have the same kind of glasses! I had glasses that looked like that when I was that age. Not anymore, though... I broke them when I was stupidly trying to take my shirt off with my glasses still on. And to answer the unspoken question, *yes*, I was stripping at the time. Not that it's any of your business, *mother*!" Doug3000

"My computer decided not to wait for Y2K, and just kill itselsf a few days ago." Deset Gled

"You better fix it soon, Deset Gled. The 80,000th post is approaching faster than it seems." Mike Remiker

"I'm going out for some Dom Delouise flavoured ice cream." Jim Boswell

"Rob Dietz is your baby! And you have sex with him!!! Eeeeewww!!!" Ken Moodie to Rebecca

"*ahmet zappa sells out, dweezil zappa penatrates lisa leob's anal opening and jon tesh rocks out*" Albert Birney

"A sad story. When I was about 5 the communist regime took over vermont and I had to move to delaware. I had to live on bread and water for two weeks the first month. My brother sam passed the time by playing kick-ball in the backyard with our neighbor albert. Albert and I would always draw little blueprints and try to take vermont back, but these were just childish games that made us further in denial that delaware was our new home. I had a greenbay packers pog that helped at times of severe depression, but that wasn't enough. Eventually I met a girl who had, too, moved from vermont to delaware. Her name was ashley. We always played in the apple trees I think. Eventually her family moved away and I never saw her again." The Nice Geoff

"Pretty Fucking sad. Hey why don't you go tell your stories to someone who cares, someone like Mikhail Gorbachev, (Audience says 'Ohhhhhh'" Finny Phelps

"red pee-pee in a toilet OR spencer owen eats raw rhinocerous dung

"'dude, thom, that story was a fabrication, right? i mean, that stuff never happened right? eh? yeah? uh...oh, eh, hahaha, err, i mean yeah, right?' -spencer owen

-------------------------------------------------------

RHINO: Exscuse me sir, how do i get to Vermont?

SPENCER: Fuck should I know! What the fuck are you? A fucking animal?!

RHINO: Yes, I am an animal and this is how I poo-poo.

*the rhino poops next to SPENCER*

SPENCER: Oh, nice! fuck me!

*steaming poo enters spencers mouth, dribbles down chin, fahts!*

SPENCER: anyway, vermont is just a bunch of commies, you should go to ohio, that is where the chick are.

RHINO: fuck, my pee-pee is red again.

anthony soprano got shit on me." Albert Birney

"Last Post Love . I am bottom feeder supreme pan pizza." DougShow

"Gomez is dead baby!

------------------------------------------

(GIRKABOB and and ALBIE are sitting on a queen-size bed. GIRKABOB has a script in her hands. She's reading it.

ALBIE lays down on the bed and watches GIRKABOB read the rest of the script. She finishes reading and looks over at ALBIE)

GIRKABOB: Albie, you should start selling scripts, really!

ALBIE: Yeah? You liked it?

GIRKABOB: Liked it? I loved it! This was the best script I've ever read!

ALBIE: Really!? You mean it!

GIRKABOB: Sure I do! You have a real talent...but I was confused about a few things...

ALBIE: Uh oh, here we go.

GIRKABOB: No, I mean, I really liked it, it's just, I wasn't sure about a few minor details.

ALBIE: Like?

GIRKABOB: Well, why did the Rhinocerous deficate on Spencer and why was his urine red? What was that business about Vermont and why did Spencer consume the Rhinocerous feces?... Actually, now that I really think about it, I didn't really care for this script at all...it was childish and immature. It made no sense and seemed to be filled with inside jokes that no one would understand except for yourself.

ALBIE: Oh.

GIRKABOB: Are you retarded?

(ALBIE looks confused. HE gets out of the bed and walks to the window)

GIRKABOB: Seriosuly, do you suffer from some disease that makes you a retard?

ALBIE: Umm, no. I don't think so.

GIRKABOB: You know what, you better leave, I'm sorry I invited you over in the first place. Gomez will show you out.

(GIRKABOB calls for GOMEZ. There is a loud noise somewhere in the house and then footsteps running up the stairs.

ALBERT runs into the room carrying GOMEZ'S severed head.)

ALBERT: A'ight bitches. Listen up cuz i'm only going over this shit once. I am a patri-narc and i'm here to wreck your chock-asses up to da roof.

(ALBERT starts laughing)

ALBIE: You finally made it! What took you so long?

ALBERT: Al wanted to stop at Quick-mart and get some Vanilla Wafers.

ALBIE: What a goof he is!

(GIRKABOB is confused. She looks back and forth between ALBERT and ALBIE. They look exactly alike except for ALBERT is wearing a GOLDEN GIRLS T-Shirt and ALBIE is wearing a DESIGING WOMEN t-shirt.)

GIRKABOB: WHAT THE CYBER-SEX IS GOING ON HERE?!?!?!

(AL comes running into the room, wafers in his mouth.)

AL: Ahhhhh man! Did I miss it?

(GIRKABOB faints)

ALBERT: No Al, you didn't miss it. We were just getting ready.

ALBIE: Sell *this* script beotch!

(ALBIE, ALBERT, and AL all pull down their pants and slowly walk towards GIRK. The three patri-narcs have devious smiles on their faces. The camera pans towards GOMEZ'S severed head lying on the ground. GOMEZ'S eyes open and the severed head speaks)

GOMEZ'S SEVERED HEAD: How fucking awesome is it when television comedies don't have laughtracks!!

(the camera pans back to the three lads still walking towards the bed. All of a sudden GIRKABOB wakes up and starts laughing hystericly. She points at ALBIE, ALBERT, and AL)

GIRKABOB: All of you have such small penises!

(ALBERT, ALBIE, and AL turn and look right at the camera and shrug. The audience laughs and GOMEZ'S BODY stumbles into the room peeing blood.)

(the curtain lowers)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- " Albert Birney

"Piss. I like piss if you please or even monkey fleas, Ive never danced like this, unless I had to piss. I always shine my shoes, even if I have to piss, come see show, this one you cant miss." The Nice Geoff (Shammy Hughes)

"Y2K, my arse!!@ Hello! It is now 1/1/00 where I live! I am in the future, but the mileneneneieum bug, while devatating in its causing-exerything-to-explode-unfer-my-=feetness, has not prohibititited me from drinking two much alchohol, nor posting to the Musings borad while undetr the influence of such... aaaAny wya, remind me, once I sober up, to let you know what life is like in the 21st centry, and if anyone continues to argue whether the 3rd muilennenleleleniuninum begins in 2000 or 2001, I will punch them in the arse, using my arse!!@ But my hover-taxi awaits, and my brother still hasn't mastered the use of this matter transporter, so it's goodnight from me, and it's goodnight from you." Jim Boswell

"Goddamnit! Goddamn, you're right, Girk! Pokemon is so fucking annoying! Shit! Fuck, even! Here's a link to my band's page on mp3.com." Every Spencer Owen post this year

Depending on hos this Y2K stuff goes, this might be my last post, but who knows, maybe I'll be posting "VB - Back From the Dead!" tonight at 12:13 am in the year 2000 of the Lord Christ Our Savior. I hope all of you have boarded up your houses when the rivers of blood flow all over the Earth. I hope I make it home from work in time. I'm a gonna have a new year.

 

http://www.geocities.com/Vienna/Studio/6368/pussy.jpg

"Get your hands off my pussy, kev-boy." - Christina Ricci