This Week In Musings

December 24, 1999

Have a rocking Ozzy Osbourne Christmas!

 

"Dreaming of Vinyl Boy...

So last night while dreaming I found myself in the room of Ryan Hennessy with my brother, Sam. His room was basically a big carpeted area with a small bookshelf, a phone, and some plants in it.VB was at school so I thought it would be cool to surprise him, and like, write him a note or something. So what I did was write a little note and put it on his plant, or I photocopied a picture of his plant and wrote the message directly on the copy (I can't remember which). Well anyways after I did that I went home. But while at home I thought of something even better to put on the note, so I went back to VB's house (Whose interior looked alot like that of the Hobsons') and wrote him a new, better message and did the whole plant thing. Sam and I were on our way home when I realized that I had left the old note there. I didn't want ol' VB to think that I tried real hard to right him a note, or that I wrote two notes for him, so again I went back to his house. When Sam and I were approching the door of his room, we saw him. He was kind of a punk, with army pants, a chain wallet, and greyish hair. He got real mad about the fact that we were messing up his plants and toying around in his room and told us to leave. I didn't really have a place to go but for some reason sam did so VB and I were forced to stay together for a while. VB already was mad at me so I thought it would be kinda awkward being there with him in his house an all. Eventually we did a news broadcast from his rumpus room and then the dream ended." Merry Christmas, The Nice Geoff.

"Why do I suck so much?" Spencer Owen, Merry Christmas.

"Because you are a girl." Brandon Deadmonkey, Merry Christmas

"THOM: How can I leave the board, Ryan? How can I leave *you*. I am part of you Ryan.

RYAN: What? You're not making any sense. Just leave already! Can't you see you've done enough?

(RYAN points to MEAN GEOFF crying in the corner)

THOM: I already said I was sorry! What more do you want from me?!

(RYAN gets out of his his chair and gets eye-level with THOM.)

RYAN: We want you to LEAVE!!! What part of that don't you understand?!

THOM: Look, I'm really sorry. I can't apologize anymore for what's happened here...But like I said, I *can't* leave. I'm a *part* of you, don't you see that?

RYAN: What?!

THOM: Take off your shirt.

RYAN: Wha? What are you talking about, Thom?

THOM: Just take off your shirt, Ryan.

RYAN: No.

THOM: JUST DO IT!

RYAN: Fine, Fine...If it will make you go.

(RYAN reluctantly takes off his Tori Amos 1994 world tour shirt to reveal a LITTLE CALCIFIED THOM sticking out from his belly.)

LITTLE CALCIFIED THOM: I love you, Ryan.

(RYAN looks at LITTLE CALCIFIED THOM and then looks at the real THOM. He is surprised. He sees the world for what it really is. Life is beautiful and Ryan has seen the light. He slowly walks towards THOM and extends his hand. THOM goes to shake it but RYAN pulls away his hand and instead hugs him emotionally.)

RYAN: Let's never fight again.

THOM: So this means I can stay?

RYAN: Thom...Yes.

MEAN GEOFF: Hey, I'm gonna go smoke some crack and get taught by some computers. Yous guys wanna come with?

RYAN and THOM: Yes.

(RYAN and THOM, holding hands, and pulling MEAN GEOFF along in a red wagon, walk down the street into the setting sun.)

-THE END-

Dick." Merry Christmas, Nice Geoff. May God shine his light on you and yours.

"Kid Rock MP3. anyone got Bawitdaba?" Adam Randle

From school:

Matt Piteo: "Nico, why are you really really fat?"

Nico: "I don't know, Matt. Why are *you* really really fat?"

"Does anyone know how to opena candy cane? They're like impossible to open." Chris Fox from school

"my friend, I am a chinese,my company produce a patent product,that is a electric an mechine window,when thief want to rush in your home,my product can give big alarm to the thief and make you wake up,I know a little English,if you buy my product,you will become the first foreign people,I glad to invent you sell this chinese product in American,Chinese product is more cheap,and can give you a great deal of money,I hope to receive your E-mail." your friend, wangdong

"Oh, I've gotten tons of crap on this mother. Crumbs, soda, jam (from having it on my fingers)...damn." Spencer

"Jam?

Two things:

1) You eat jam with your fingers? Man, you are some sort of uncouth boor, aren't you?

2) You eat jam with your fingers NEAR YOUR COMPUTER? Yer nuts!" Doug3000

" IF I WAS GAY I WOULD BE FUCKING THE TIGHT ASS OF A BOYSCOUT. THANKFULLY I'M NOT." Nice Geoff

"Man, the year 2000 is gonna be like evrey other year. Except, evreyones's gonna be like, 'Wow! We're in the future!'" Mean Geoff

"THEN, I dreamy that I met john flansburgh on the boat to nantucket, and he was, like, the captain or something, and I was trying to talk about TMBG to him, but he was busy eating a big cup of clam chowder, and the only thing he would say is 'this is really good clam chowder.' It was really anoying, so I went home and burned all my TMBG CD's, cause I didn't like that Flans was ignoring me. Then I realized what I had done, and I really regreted it, so I stole all my friend's TMBG CD's. Then the dream left TMBG all together, and I became an indian, or something." kev-boy. Ha ha! And thus concludes the only time that kev-boy will ever make an appearance in TWIM.

"We are small. We come in numbers. We are products of our environment. When you're alone and you think you can faintly make out a radio playing somewhere in the distance, it is us singing. When you're sad, we cry for you. When the sky gets dark and the moon comes out, we are finally at home.

We are not magical, exactly. We are not myths, but true beings. We do exist, at least in every sense that you yourself exist. Though we may not seem so impressive, we are essentially the thread which binds this universe together.

We are small, but we are powerful and we number many. We are the black babies." Black Babies

"But I have to say...my favorite Christmas movie is 'Crimson Tide.'" Spencer Owen. Good one, dick.

"I don't know about YOU guys... but I just finished watching Dr. Strangelove. How warm, fuzzy and Christmasy I feel now! THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is MY all time Xmas movie pick." Sushi Stuart

"*pulls chord on urkel doll*

"don't sweat my pet"

*pulls chord*

"don't sweat my pet"

*pulls chord*

"got any cheese?"

*pulls chord*

"did i do that?"

*pulls chord*

"don't sweat my pet"

*hugs steve and cries*" Albimo Johannisburg

"(SPENCER and AL finish their drinks and then AL farts on SPENCER)

SPENCER: Ewww, that was gross!

AL: Yeah, but where are your blessed Beach Boys now! Bitch!" Albie Tanner

"Spencer is such an introspective, deep, juicy person. I mean, he can just stand there for hours, pondering the cosmos. The first time I met Skippy, that's what we call him, he came right up to me and started telling me his theories and formulas on the universe, mankind, and love. I knew right away that i had found someone special." -Gary Sinise, 1998

"Predator!!!! That's the BEST Christmas movie EVER!!!" Mean Geoff