Ok, so it's up a day late. Think of it as me giving you hacks an extra day to be funny.

"I was reincarnated a bunch of times, I'm getting kind of tired of it.

I was a protokaryote

then a protokaryote again

and again

and a few more times,

then I was a eukaryote! That kicked ass.

I spent some time as a crustacean...fish... amphibian..reptile... mammal

Things got really interesting when I developed self-awareness

I was a neanderthal for awhile, but I got killed by a bear. Man, you think bears are big and mena now, back in the day, they were fuckin' huge!

Tool use as a homo sapien sapiens was pretty dope, I got to make some spears, and waste some neanderthals, but one of them like, broke my face off.

Then I was a stillborn baby.

I was an oppressed ainu, killed by a samurai for no real reason, really.

Then I was a stillborn baby again

And again

I was a woman in a nordic village,. who was killed by marauding Vikings.

Then I was a proud African warrior, who died of disease on a slave ship.

Stillborn baby

I was a Cherokee chief, scalped by a frontiersman for a measly 2 bits.

Then I was a child in Africa, who died of starvation, this happened, like 20 or so times, so I won't bother relating them all.

Stillborn baby

again

Then I was this Chinese guy. I grew up, got a job, got married, had a kid, and died of a heart attack at age 74.

Then I got to be a vending machine for awhile, but I was destroyed by vandals.

"Is it wrong for me to say this? Probably. I thought it was quite, um "interesting" (translate: laughably predictable) that our dear Kevin Diamond found a way to work his band into a TMBG chat. The shocking thing, though, is that he didn't get the name out there" - Amber Erceg. That's my girl.

"Thank you Ron Ferraro!

*slowly unzips pants*

*removes penis*

*starts to stroke penis slowly*

*whispers "Ooooh, Ron, you are so nice. So very nice."*

Thank you Ron Ferraro!" - Brandon Deadmonkey

"What'd I do? And why in the name of all that's holy would you stroke your penis while saying my name?" - Ron Ferraro

"I boo you, incompetent opera singer! I wow you, easily impressed audience! I doff you, hat! Am I forgetting anything? What rhymes with thorough?" - Jim Boswell, trying to come up with a rhyme or Scooter's last name.

"Post Count

10:32 p.m.

Of 1090 posts...

Spencer Owen - 112

Seamonkeygirl - 111

kev-boy - 103

and...

Dr. Jeff - 0

What does that say about the society we live in?" - Nice Geoff

Harry the Dark Prince said "Oh, by the way, I am a huge comics fan. I actually want to be a writer one day," to which Ken replied "Alright *rolls up sleeves* where my scissors at? Time to start my mandatory vasectomy program. Come on over here, it's for the good of the planet. Hey, where you goin'?"

Seamonkey Girl said "Well, in 20 minutes I'm going back off..." to which Sushi replied "But of course in 40 minutes, you'll be back on and post another 4957947957947 messages."

And finally, I'm breaking my rule by allowing in Brad's resonse to my post for you guys to be funnier.

"I see what's going on here. It's not that there aren't any funny posts, you're just too lazy to find 'em." - The Bored Guy. I think we're both right, Brad.

And since you guys weren't funny enough for a long TWIM this week, here's an added bonus from an AIM conversation I had with the Fat Man about the game Risk:

Big Old Body: Risk rocks! BadVibe2: I know! It's the rare board game that's actually fun. BadVibe2: It's not all just rolling dice and moving spaces. Big Old Body: yeah...like 'Trouble' Big Old Body: which won't even let you roll dice.

Well, since I didn't even read all the posts on the board (too many long-ass threads that were going nowhere), feel free to add any good ones you think I missed.

http://www.badmovies.org/movies/doubledragon/doubledragon7.jpg

VB and I, getting ready to battle some playa-haters.