This Week In Musings
December 3, 1999
Alison, you got a ghetto booty, you know that?
"dream 2: i was on the computer right after getting back from vacation. Somebody had sent me all these posts from the board. Nemo had some wierd wierd dream. Then I was talking to Nice Geoff on IM and he's like "i thought you didn't have any net connection" and I realized that I wasn't connected to the internet. Then I
realized that I didn't even have a computer, and it dissapeared.dream 3: Nice Geoff lived in a big circular house and this girl i used to go to school with was his sister. My mom called asking if we wanted cookies." Meg F
"Andy Christianson once sent me a postcard from Norway addressed to 'Mike Remiker, USA.'" Mike Remiker
"And she called me a ***ing stupid **** with a ****ed ******* for a ******** **** ****ing sheep. Don't ask me to fill in the blanks, I just can't repeat such terms in a public forum with all these people watching. I don't
even know how to pronounce half of them, or what they mean. Where do you pick up such foul language, Flamer?" Jim Boswell"Yes, but I meant it in the nicest way possible. All the disgusting things I know I learned from Triangle Man. He's one sick f***ing puppy!" Flamer
"Better than being a sick puppy F***er. You'd be surprised what you can catch from a sick puppy." Ken
"Work is such bullshit. I should just quit, you know? I'm miserable at this job.
You know what my dream job is? I'll tell you. I want to work 3rd shift at a gas station. Now, I realize it's extremely boring, but so what? I mean, I'd say a total of four customers would come between the hours of 12 and 4. And only half of them would actually come inside, because nowadays, they got those cards where you just pay at the pump! I could probably smoke in the gas station too! I'll just turn on some house music, smoke a bowl, and I'm all set! Get myself a magazine and a candybar. Shit! I couldn't possibly get bored while reading a magazine and listening to some kickass techno while stoned, would I? And since I'd be the only one working there, I could steal whatever I wanted. as long as I don't steal too much, and i'm careful about it. I can't wait to be a gas station worker!!" Mean Geoff"He's only 15? Man, for his age, or for any age really, he writes some pretty killer music. I still have that mp3 of the TMBG monster mix he did. And That Mam Low stuff rocks my spot." Ken
"Even if you weren't out of the closet already...you'd be out of the closet after making a statement like that." Brandon Deadmonkey
"Well, I have multiple orgasms, too! I just have to y'know... wait a little longer." Ken
"::Climbs out of grave, brushes self off:: 'Oh GOD, all the BLUE!'" TMBGeorge
"How was everyone's holiday? Good I hope. I hope it was as good as Thanksgiving at the Aragorn house. Turkey
tastes so much better when it's served by a homemade robot...." TMBGeorge"Y'know... I haven't been in TWIM in like 3 months or something. I'm not funny anymore! *sulks in room with her cat and her Tostitos*" Girkabob, which sets us up for...
"Girk! You haven't said anything funny for like, 3 weeks! And what do you care if you're not in TWIM ever? Do you want Ryan to include evreyone in TWIM? Because if you want him to, you're a ho bag! He can't put something that isn't funny into TWIM. That's like me asking a guy to stick his dick in my ass. Do dicks belong in asses? Fuck no! Do things that aren't funny belong in TWIM? I'm afraid not.
PS:I hope this helps you get through your period.
Love,
MG" Fucking genius.
"what's all this talk of Pavement?! Everyone knows Pavement sucks! I never hear them on the radio or MTV...so they must suck! Right? You all should stop wasting your time and listen to REAL music like Creed. Creed is the
most talented band EVER! Rob Thomas and Santana rule! Everlast 4 ever!" - JOSHIN JONES JR. (cosby)"i think im having some sortyt of fever induced panic attack or someting because the words aare sorrt of flying off the screen at my face and i Have to duck to avoid being struck dead. its very time cunsuming- its taken me an hour to get this far. a good chunk of that hour was ssspent trying to find the godamn - key.
oh my dear god the hunger begins." Brain Beissel, that's fuckin' funny!
"Wow, and to think..... VB is hanging around Swinger web sites." Deset Gled
"I mean DougShow! I said DougShow! I did. Really. Narg." Deset Gled
"NO! Doug3000!!!! Doug3000!!!!!!!!!! Arg! To many Dougs!" Deset Gled
"VB isn't named Doug..." Doug3000
"Poor Faelan.... Well, seems like we have our closure in the saga of Faelan...the boy named for a wolf. But does this answer all of our questions? Or just bring up newer ones? Yes, the site was child exploitation, but maybe Faelan really did want a girlfriend or did Mr. Aragorn just want to get jiggy with some underage girls? Was the "diary" totally fake? Or did we really share a few months with the little bugger? Does he sometimes really act like a monkey? Or was that all made up too. Maybe his brother was building robots to battle their father because the sexual abuse was too much to bear. Oh well... I suppose this is enough closure for now. I can't believe they actually had a STING operation. I knew I should've written them a letter while I had the chance... Oh well... May you be happy in your new home Faelan.... 1999's Mascot of the Year. (screw it, I'm giving him the award)" TMBGeorge. Post of the year potential!
"I think when someone is being sarcastic... they should make a penis at the end of their post like this...
Hello! I am very intelligent.
8====D" Mean Geoff
"I heard that about guys not liking words like 'cute', 'adorable', or 'darling'. I don't mind 'em. Maybe that's because I'm so gay." Ken
"Sugar + Caffeine + Accordion = HTN" Ken
"An interesting theory... Since VB doesn't like to put stuff that he says into TWIM, he created me, so that he could say funny shit, and then put it into TWIM. Just so that he could feel like he's funny egnough to be put into TWIM." Mean Geoff
"Hell yeahj! EVREYONE except Spencer! It's just not gonna happen Spencer. I mean, you're too creepy. No girl is gonna sleep with you EVER. Niether will Ken Moodie. If I were you, i'd buy cheap hookers, and a rubber doll for New Years. Don't you think that would kick ass? Sex with a hooker! Whoopie! Or you could just go out raping like i'm gonna be doing." Mean Geoff on New Years Eve plans
"I know that you aren't fucking with Guns n Roses. Axl rocks your lame ass." Amber Erceg to Brad Anders
"First off, wrong 'here.' Second off, no. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. God, that felt good..." kev-boy, to which Nice Geoff replied, "*smacks kev-boy* You like that, bitch?"
"i will freely admit that i am an antisocial weirdo. i don't have very many friends. a lot of the people here on the board are nice to me, which is more than i can say about the people in the real world. When people come in and disturb us with trying to cause a fight, it makes me sad, because this board is just as real to me most of the time as my real life is. It's like you came into my bedroom and started yelling and throwing things around.
I am sheltered and sensitive, but i am not an elitist. I like anyone who's nice to me. so i don't think you should leave just yet, but should instead try and integrate yourself into the board culture instead of insulting people and making yourself out to seem to be a mean jerk." Meenie 7. i know, it wasn't funny, but i couldn't bear to leave that out.
"You are the saddest, loneliest group of anti-social misfits I have ever had the misfortune to bump into in my entire life. YOU hate me perhaps, because I am somehow different in some invisible way from yourself. Why, because I didn't start posting at the exact same moment as all of you? Perhaps you think that by banding together in some sort of guild you can make me go away and continue in your sheltered, little virtual world. " Welcome back, Ron Ferraro!!
"If you are going to continue hanging your head high, you better really let me have it, Remiker. Or is all this tension too much for you? Do you just want to go back to your happy-go-lucky world of 'life as a hero on the Musings board before Ron was here to muck it all up for me?'" Ron Ferraro, the baddest fucker EVER! ANd I could say that with no shame!
"I was just doing a parody of "The Rock" from that dumb-ass wrestling phenomenon that's going on. These idiots are the ones who took it all too seriously. What, nobody here has seen that dumbass "The Rock" from WWF? I don't watch WWF either, but you can't hardly turn on a television without seeing wrestling or Pokemon! It's not my fault that password protection has produced a paranoid pile of pu**ie*." Ron Ferraro. Y'know, you're right, Ron. We should watch more professional wrestling so we can understand you're wicked comic comebacks.
"Oh, and then poor Ron cries that we "don't appreciate [his] sense of humor." Ooooh, poor baby! Boo hoo! What a
shame! You came and made fag jokes and we didn't reply to your posts by saying "Yes, Ron! You are the Machine Gun Kelly of Comedy! Riddle my body with your bullets of hilarity!" Sorry, Ron, but the truth of the matter is it's not that no one appreciates your sense of humor, it's that you're just not funny...The board is a happy place. The people here all generally like each other, and arguments like this rarely break out. Even on the rare occasions that they do, they're never this drawn-out, this vitrolic, or this personal. I'm going to guess that most of the Musers like to use this board as an escape. Somewhere they can go to talk about things with people that they can't or don't want to talk about with people who are actually involved in their daily life. I know I've met a lot of great people here, and some of them I would go so far as to consider good friends of mine, despite the fact that we'll probably never cross paths. No one wants this kind of shit that you're trying so hard to get started here, and by drawing it out, you're only making the board a worse place for everyone besides your narcissitic self.... Let me leave you with one last thought. Who's more pathetic: the "saddest, loneliest group of anti-social misfits I have ever had the misfortune to bump into in my entire life," or the person who is so self-concious that he has to try and defend himself to those people?" just the best bits of Mike Remiker's amazing post"Maybe I'm picking up all the wrong signals from you, but the only people I know who say "sing it, sister" are either women or guys who wish they were women. Hey, it's okay to be mommy's special son, just try not to pick up on the teenage boys who do post on the TMBG board." Ron Ferraro, the biggest idiot to ever post to the They Might Be Giants Musings Board
"Moodie you fucking queer! you like to screw little boys I bet. Don't show me any pictures of you kissing those kids you pedophile!
Oh, did I come of as a gay-basher? I was just joking, and it's actually Ken who's a bigger gay-basher by talking about screwing 15 year olds, the dyke.
Hey, you all hate me, you insular little inbred group of whores! What did I do to upset you, I was just being funny! It's because of that damn password protection!
Okay, I'm leaving unless people tell me to stay! Thanks a lot for defending me Flamer, you back-stabber. Whatever with this shit." Jay G. as Ron Ferraro. The similarities are amazing.
That's all from me. Tune in next week for a special TWIM with your guest host, Mike Remiker of Wisconsin. Let me just finish with one question, and I expect some sort of consensus by the time i return...
Who will be the John Nicholas for 2000?
Kevin Diamond, Deset Gled, or Ron Ferraro?