This Week In Musings

July 15, 1999

Asked of a waitress: "What's your name?"

"actually, i don't.. which is odd, because i'm usually a pretty good observer of things. if you had been the person holding the huge bag of chips ahoy up in the air screaming, 'you guys want some cookies? who wouldn't want cookies?!' then i would remember you right off the bat." spiraling shape

"•Must Jedis wear bathrobes constantly? I kept expecting Liam to say 'Excuse my outfit...I just came here from the space sauna.' ...What's up with the evil Chinese aliens? Granted, space Amos 'n' Andy was bad, but the 'Hah-so, Queen, you will be velly solly to no sign tleaty' was wincingly awful." The Fat Man's "Star Wars" review

"Me, Remiker, Nick, Nice Geoff(who looked like Brandon Deadmonkey), and Vinyl boy, all attended Degrassi Jr. High, and Sarah Holland, Deset Gled, and Brad Anders attended USA High. So... both schools were right across from each other, and there were cannons coming out of all the windows in each school. I was the leader of Degrassi Jr. High, and I was Demanding that Deset Gled, Leader of USA High, To hand over the zoo animals, so we could put them back in the Milwaukee Zoo. But Deset wouldn't give the animals back, so we had to open fire on USA high. Well, We devastated the school, and Deset started to cry. I wanted to stab him with my sword, but the nice geoff said "No! yu can't kill Deset! He's our friend", and all of a sudden, we were all chilling in my crib, watching space ghost: coast to coast." The Mean Geoff's dream

"guy selling the shirts when i asked him if the flying carpet one would ever be available in something smaller than xl: 'eh, how dah fuck would i know?' some random van driver screaming at me as i was waiting for the light to change so i could safely cross the street: 'come on, bitch! what dah hell you waitin' for?' yay chicago!"spiraling shape

"It was a bake sale. I didn't sell a single brownie. I even tried to give them away. I was all like 'Here...free brownies. Just regular brownies.' And everyone was all like 'What did you do, spit in them?' Why the hell would I want to spit in someone's brownie? That's a waste of brownie!" Deadmonkey

"'The sun is so hot that everything on it is a gas: Aluminum, Copper, Wood, Iron, and many others' 'The heat and light of the sun are caused by the nuclear reactions between estrogen, estrogen, estrogen, and ESTROGEN!'" TMBG via Girkabob

"UC Davis's music deaprtment also offers a history of rock class, so we get to practically wet our pants laughing at the sign-up sheets for reports like 'The Doors: Poets of Our Time' and 'Led Zeplin [sic]: How do they rock so hard?'" The Fat Man

"Actually, I am Jewish, but I don't practice or anything. In fact, we celebrated Easter when I was younger, and we celebrate Christmas. My whole family does. We're probably all going to hell." Doug3000

"I have had seven thousand three-hundered and five days (as of this thursday) to make something of myself. It seems as though i should have some sophisticated manner to my being, but when it comes down to it, fart jokes are still pretty funny." HLC

How many openers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Hey! The closers are supposed to do that type of stuff!

"I was eating at a Burger King with my first girlfriend when I got the Pink Album. I had ordered the tape from Strawberries and in the middle of the meal I asked her if I could quickly go across the street and get it. I ditched her, rushed across four lanes of traffic, bought the tape, then rushed back as she sat all alone in a dark BK booth. I didn't say hello or "thanks for waiting", I just sat down and ripped the case open and read the J-card. Then we walked down to the grocery store and I immediately called my mom to pick me up. I think we broke up a week later. Such was the power of the Johns." Chris Lough