This Week In Musings
March 26, 1999
The Roberto Benigni Edition
"Bonjourno, princibella! I am doing my Roberto Benigni impersonations all day! He sound like
really happy Dracula! The earth is exploding with all different colors of kindness and love! My ocean is like water controlled by moon! I love to make love to you all here in the auditorium! I could die on stage right now and be happy for eternity! Here! I kill myself! Watch knife plunge into my chest like all the good words and hailstorms of kindness you have given me! Ariberderci pisanos! I would love to show you all how much you mean to me by making love to you on stage! Life is beautiful! I would like to be Jupiter and kidnap everybody and lie down in sand making love to everybody because I don't know how to express my feelings! We all need to procreate to keep the human race from extinction and I want to help do it to that!""I explode with anticipation! I want to listen to your answering machine like so many trumpets! Nick says you get my message, no? You must tell me if it is good enough!"
"Michael-o! Do not take it away yet! It download slow like turtle stuck in mud! It drudges on toward my
computer! I want to scream and make it turn into eagle that can fly into my modem with swiftness!""Why! Why does this band make me wait to give them money! I want to see them in concerto, but they will not come back to Connecticut! I makes pain like some bad sorrow in my belly! Oh! Pain from those who give me joy! Why must they go from Ohio to Massachusetts and skip me when I have money, good money to pay them!"
If Roberto Benigni was made of chocolate and peanut butter:
"I'm so happy I make you happy! I like love! My chocolate is like burning
charcoal in me and my peanut buetter feels like turning all into Jell-o! I wish
you all to lick me where my chocolate is drippy!"
"Oh, thank you! This is unbelievable! There is so much amazing and wonderful good feelings inside me! My head is floating with gleeful joy over you people, the givers of the joy! I want to make love you all of you so much! I want to lie on the moon and make love to you!
I could die right here on stage and be happy! My gratitude is never-ending! My head explodes to you in unending beautifulness and suavity! I wish I could be Jupiter and kidnap all of you and make love to you! Oh, the unbelievable good feelings rise from my gut and goes out to you!
Injections! Injections! Injections of joy into my, how do you say, bloodstream! It is like pressure cooker in my skull! I m your precious tomato garden and you harvest me to such happiness! My English is not so good, but I like to get down to kiss your feet! Everyone! All of you people who make me feel the joy are so beautiful! I want to laugh at Holocaust with all of you! My uncompromising joyfulness flys like beautiful robin to drop, what is it, fertilizer of heavenly milk and honey and cheer! Thank you! Life is beautiful!"
"I am drowning in your enormous bathtub of devotion! I feel so love from you!" Skippy